Teach Me
* Teach Me 1997 (Theme: Adult) (view Movb0039.jpg "Screenie")
: starring Greg Provance, David LaScala, Cyrus Khambatta, Milan Tainan, Michelle Pawlina
: (IMDB# 0128711) <ISBN:1578480256> Buy it from Amazon.com
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Called "A Gary Delfiner Film" in the credits, this one is tough to describe in 1,000 words or less. A quick and easy approach could be one of those nominations frequently seen in IMDb reviews for "the worst movie ever made," but it doesn't really deserve that trite hyperbole.
On the other hand, it may be significant to note that there are no "Gary Delfiner films" listed after this 1998 entry in the IMBd. Perhaps Mr. Delfiner has taken up another line of work or otherwise disappeared from the industry. We hope he is doing well at whatever he is doing now.
The lead female character, Janine, is played by Raasa Leela Shields who has but one other film to her credit in the IMDb. Oddly, that two-film total makes Ms. Shields almost the veteran of the cast, since, for most of them, this is their first effort. The real veteran is Siri Baruc who has appeared in nine films and two episodes of TV series. She plays a waitress with a total on-camera exposure of fewer than five seconds. Robert E. Baruc is listed as the executive producer; go figure! The male lead, Keith, played by Greg Provance is totally unknown to the IMDb, as are five other members of the cast who play important roles in the story.
So goes the case for amateurism.
The story--yes, there is one--centers on Janine's sexual dysfunction; it seems that she doesn't enjoy sexual intercourse with her husband Keith and she's never been with anyone else of either gender. Conventional wisdom would suggest that she needs some "educating." (Of course, it couldn't be Keith's fault!)
The rest of the 90-minute movie reveals a grand strategy to help her overcome her dysfunction. Get it? The title is "Teach Me."
Actually, Janine and Keith's is the "story within the story." The larger story concerns a woman's magazine writer named Sara Kane (Aim'ee Nicole Lewis) who goes to a New York neighborhood bar and grill seeking inspiration for her weekly love story column. We are lead to believe that she has conceived the "Teach Me" story while perched on her barstool over cocktails, having abandoned one that she had mulled over earlier about a female assassin named Tanya (Ahnna Rasch) and her victim Victor (Paul Stevenson). "Teach Me" supplies all of the elements that one would expect from a low-budget B movie: lots of female frontal above-the-waist nudity, girl-on-girl lovemaking, a couple of hunks to keep the ladies interested, simulated heterosexual intercourse, and beautiful faces.
The plot is fairly believable once you get past the "over twenty-one and never been done" assertion that Janine insists is true. But then there's this "Wizard of Oz" character who speaks to Janine from the darkness in some kind of hokey monster voice. But also believably, she does what any typical woman would do; she talks everything out with her friend Marta who doesn't seem surprised about anything that Janine tells her during her progress through the "course."
There seem to be numerous errors and omissions in the credits. One of the main characters, "Marta," is not listed; neither is "Celeste," Janine's first girl sex partner. A few very minor players do get listed in the credits. Some actors seem to be playing multiple roles, which could be confusing to the viewers
Several technical flaws diminished the film, IMHO. Besides the hokey monster voice mentioned above, the soundtrack had big problems. The saxophone, usually used in films of this genre to connote sexy situations, was overdone and the dialog often sounded like the characters were yelling into a jug. Add to that a phony French accent by one character, forced laughter at the party scenes, abrupt transitions, and piano fingerings that don't match the sounds and you may be tempted to watch it with the sound off.
Since these problems are so obvious, I have to believe that this makes the case for "Assembly-line sloppiness."
So was there anything good about "Teach Me?" .anything to justify taking the time to review it? Yes. Among that inexperienced cast there are a few very attractive young ladies who seem to "enjoy being girls," notably, Joan Geraldi, Shelby Hastings, and whoever played "Marta." There were also some who are challenged in that respect, but who turned in excellent acting jobs.
The lead female would fall into that group.
I say about 3 on a scale of 10.
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