Scolding
Scolding is the process of admonishing a person, telling him or her what faults s/he has committed, and what punishment will follow. A scolding is the dialogue or monologue so delivered.
Scolding typically uses negative verbalizations, but there is also positive scolding. The typical (and intended) effect of a scolding comes mainly from the scolder's tone of voice and body language and only to a lesser degree from the words used. A typical gesture during scolding is showing the pointed index finger, like a stick, or wagging the finger.
Scolding and punishment
Scolding is a traditional part of domestic spanking and school corporal punishment. It is therefore common in spanking and BDSM scenes where such punishments are played out. In some cases the scolding is extended and forms and important part of the scene. Sometimes the scolding is combined with the spanking, with swats used to punctuate or emphasize points in the scolding. In other cases a more or less elaborate ritual is played out, such as: scolding, followed by corner time, followed by the actual spanking, followed by further corner time, followed by forgiveness and displays of affection.
Often a scolding can be a source of humiliation, particularly when it is public.
Positive scolding is an approach to scolding that uses positive, encouraging words instead of negative, discouraging ones.
Most people think of scolding as something that is by definition negative criticism. However it is also possible to express the same but using positive verbalizations. In positive scolding, the words criticize what's in need of correction, but in a way that stresses the good qualities of the offender and expresses the scolding person's confidence in the offender's ability to improve.
Examples of negative scolding:
- "You're a bad, bad boy, how could you do such an evil thing?"
- "You ignorant girl, you didn't listen at all to what I told you!"
- "What did you say, you filthy little urchin?"
Examples of positive scolding:
- "I know you're a good boy inside, and you can behave well if you really want to!"
- "You're a clever girl, and I know you can do much better than that!"
- "You know that Cursing (offensive words) will hurt other people's feelings, and you can learn to express yourself in a polite and acceptable way."
Despite the positive words, the tone of voice is still that of a scolding, so that the recepient, in a way, will feel scolded and praised at the same time.
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